Glossary about Shortcuts

Shortcut	Meaning
486	The average IQ needed to understand a PC
State-of-the-art	Any computer you can't afford
Obsolete	Any computer you own
Microsecond	The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.
G3	Apple's new Macs that make you say "Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago."
Syntax Error	Walking into a computer store and saying "Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object."
Hard Drive	The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, esp. after a Syntax Error.
GUI	What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced "gooey")
Keyboard	The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse	An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy	The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Portable Computer	A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.
Disk Crash	A typical computer response to any critical deadline... Like,the dog ate my homework.
Power User	Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update	A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.